


Lost Opportunities

by Lollikins



Series: Lessons Learned [5]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Dom Park Seonghwa, Falling In Love, M/M, Sub Kang Yeosang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:53:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25207258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lollikins/pseuds/Lollikins
Summary: As Yeosang begins to discover the limits of his dark desires with Seonghwa, he gets more than he bargained for as he starts to fall in love. No love is perfect, what secret threatens to rip them apart?
Relationships: Kang Yeosang/Park Seonghwa
Series: Lessons Learned [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1826119
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	Lost Opportunities

It was almost three months not that he was counting or anything. Okay, maybe he was a little. To be precise, it was two months and one week and he wasn’t sure he had ever been happier. Seonghwa still scolded him when he teased him in class. He still teased him because he loved the way that Seonghwa punished him. Seonghwa had told him once upon a time that it was the submissive that had all of the power in the relationship and in their relationship, it was true. He knew no matter what he did that Seonghwa would never force him to do something he didn’t want to do. He knew that if he ever felt uncomfortable or that he was in over his head, that he could make it stop instantly. 

Discomfort though was something that he found at the edge of experience. It was a place he had visited with his lover often and while sometimes it could be terrifying, it was also exhilarating trying something new. He trusted Seonghwa more than he trusted his own mother in many ways. While he didn’t know himself, it seemed his lover knew him like the back of his own hand. It seemed that he instinctively knew what would thrill him the most, what would make him cum the hardest, what would turn him into little more than a conduit of sensation. 

That was just their games though. 

There was so much more than those games. Seonghwa wasn’t his first relationship but he had never had a relationship that was anywhere near as fulfilling. They spent hours together talking like the oldest of friends, playing like children, and just enjoying their time together. That wasn’t to say he thought Seonghwa was perfect, he knew he was not. He was a perfectionist and a neat freak, he could be a little obsessive. He often fussed over him like a mother hen, which he secretly loved, and heaven forbid if you interrupted his watching dramas but he always listened when Yeosang had a worry. He always had a shoulder when Yeosang’s heart needed soothing. He wasn’t perfect but he was perfect for Yeosang. 

Yeosang was pretty sure that he was in love with him. 

Yeosang watched Seonghwa sleeping. He was exquisite in slumber but then again, he was exquisite when awake and every other time. He had never dated anyone who drew so much attention but he didn’t care about that. He knew that no matter how many of the girls (or boys) in his class or in his school threw themselves at Seonghwa, they would just be disappointed. He had watched dozens of people try only to fail to even so much as turn his head. The body wasn’t what tempted him, the body was only a shell. 

The sun was just beginning to peek over the horizon, lightening the room. It was that surreal time that came at dawn and dusk, where the light played tricks on your eyes. They had gone to bed early as they had spent the better part of the previous evening in fairly intense games. Yeosang’s body still ached but in the most delicious of ways. It was a Sunday and normally he went home on Sunday’s but after falling asleep after their session, Seonghwa had just put him to bed. It felt naughty somehow, being here when he wasn’t supposed to be. But if he had gone home, then he wouldn’t have been able to have this time watching his lover. It was strange, it was getting harder and harder to think of his apartment as home. It was more the place where Seonghwa wasn’t. What would it be like to live with him full time? No, he shouldn’t think that. They hadn’t discussed any sort of future together, he had no idea how Seonghwa felt and frankly, he was scared to death to find out. It was best to just live it one day at a time and let the older man take the lead. 

A small smile curved Seonghwa’s lips as he slept. Yeosang wondered what he was dreaming to smile like that. Maybe he was dreaming of them together… that was an arrogant thought but one he rather liked. His lips were so full and luscious, he loved kissing him. Yeosang bit his lip, maybe if he were very gentle he could manage a little kiss and not wake him. They still had a few hours before they had to get up and he didn’t want to rob him of his sleep but … just a little kiss. 

Yeosang leaned up and barely touched his lips to Seonghwa’s, just the barest whisper of a kiss. His lips were soft and warm. He heard Seonghwa’s breath catch a little and he leaned back to find the man’s eyes open. 

Seonghwa shifted, turning onto his side and wrapping his bedwarm arms around Yeosang, pulling the length of his body against him. Yeosang expected he would go back to sleep but instead, Seonghwa silently regarded him. 

Tentatively, Yeosang reached up to lay his hand against Seonghwa’s cheek. He could feel the slight rasp of stubble against his palm. Seonghwa wasn’t overly hirsute but he still got a little shadow on his chin and jaw after a long day and Seonghwa liked to be clean shaven. But something that might have turned Yeosang off before now thrilled him. It was another sign of his lover’s maleness and he loved it. He traced his thumb over Seonghwa’s cheekbone and stared back into the depths of his dark eyes. 

Seonghwa leaned in and brushed his lips across Yeosang’s brow, kissing his eyelids. He moaned quietly as he felt the flutter of his long lashes against his lips. He kissed his cheeks, his nose and finally his lips. As with the kiss that Yeosang had graced him with, it was feather soft, no more than the brush of a butterfly’s wing. As Seonghwa started to pull back, Yeosang followed after him, wanting more than just a taste. 

The smile on Seonghwa’s lips widened as he leaned back in, to claim Yeosang’s lips again, slowly deepening their kiss. Fingers of light began to creep into the room and still they savored each other, their hands caressing lazily over one another’s bodies. They were both hungry for one another but neither of them rushed. 

There had never been anyone in his life that Seonghwa had enjoyed kissing as much as Yeosang. It wasn’t just the feeling of his lips, it was the way his whole body responded to him. It was as if his entire body was begging for the touch of their lips, the writhing of their tongues, the taste of each other. Seonghwa ran his fingers through Yeosang’s mussed hair, down his leanly muscled back, over the curve of his ass, and down to catch behind his thigh and lift his leg up over Seonghwa’s hip. Their cocks pressed together, giving a tantalizing friction as they moved together. As they languidly devoured one another, Yeosang reached back to the bedside table and pulled out a small familiar bottle. 

He reached between them and slicked his lover’s cock and then himself. He groaned into their kiss as he worked his fingers into his own ass. Seonghwa’s hand found his, his own fingers joining Yeosang’s as he finger fucked himself. He panted against Seonghwa’s lips as true need began to stir. He opened his eyes to find he was being watched with a quiet hunger. 

Seonghwa watched Yeosang in abject fascination as he almost shyly reached for his cock and guided it to the tight ring of muscle at his entrance. He was rarely this bold but Yeosang’s eyes never once left his as he slowly pressed himself down onto his turgid length. It hit him at that moment how much he loved this, how much he loved the feeling of his tight heat sheathing him, how much he loved the taste of his kiss on his lips, the caress of Yeosang’s eyes on him, the absolute trust and faith that shone within them. 

No, it wasn’t just the pleasure he took from his body. If it was only that, he would have never had so much trouble keeping up the walls he built with him. It was the man himself, the way he teased, his blunt nature, the way he made him laugh, the way he saw the world, the pure warmth of his heart. He didn’t want to lose this, he never wanted to let this remarkable, beautiful man go… he loved him. He tightened his arms around him and embraced him before shifting his hands to his ass to move inside of him. Though he sealed his lips to Yeosang’s he opened his heart and poured out the emotions that he didn’t speak. 

The only sounds between them were breathy sighs, gasps and the sounds of their mutual pleasure. This too, like the rest of their morning was unhurried. Yeosang leaned back, tightening the grip of the one leg he had over Seonghwa’s hip, giving his lover better access to his body. Seonghwa reached between them and wrapped his long fingers around Yeosang’s cock. There was a question in Yeosang’s eyes as his lips parted to ask, Seonghwa nodded and Yeosang nodded in return. No words, he didn’t want them right now, he didn’t need them. He felt the first tell tale signs of his lover’s orgasm, the erratic tightening of his body, the way his cock swelled in his hand. Yeosang cried out as he pushed back against Seonghwa’s cock, the first sticky sweet wave of his cum shot up between them, spattering both of their stomachs. He didn’t slow his motions however, he moved all the harder. There was only one thing he wanted at that moment and Seonghwa gave it to him, he buried his face against the side of his neck as he hammered home the last few thrusts, spilling his seed deep inside Yeosang. 

There he stayed with his eyes closed, holding him. He panted quietly, catching his breath. Yeosang’s hands drifted over his sweaty hair and neck. When he looked up, Yeosang’s heart was in his eyes and he smiled. 

No, he couldn’t let him go, not now not ever. There was still so much he needed to tell him, things he had kept from him not really knowing how to broach the subject. He was planning on telling him but he couldn’t imagine he would have a problem with it. He was bright and inquisitive, he was sure he would just want to see it, experience it all for himself. He would show him the world he knew and let him enjoy it but Kang Yeosang was his and while he had been happy to share in the past, he wanted him for himself. But in the past, he had never cared the way he did now. Let all the others look all they wanted but Yeosang was his and his alone. He cupped Yeosang’s cheek in his hand and leaned in to kiss him with a soft smile. 

At long last, the silence was broken as Yeosang said, “Shall we take a shower?” 

Seonghwa peeked over Yeosang’s shoulder at the clock. He reached over and turned off the alarm, it would go off soon as it was. “Alright but let me hold onto you a little bit longer.” 

That was hardly something he could deny, Yeosang settled back into Seonghwa’s arms and closed his eyes. The smell of him, the taste of him, the feeling of him, even the very thought of him was deep inside Yeosang’s mind, in his heart. There was no question, he was in love with Park Seonghwa. 

They lay in bed saying little, mostly touching until Seonghwa sighed and let Yeosang go, “Come on.” He slipped from the bed and held his hand out to Yeosang. 

Yeosang took it and kissed Seonghwa’s palm and held it to his cheek before he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. They showered, leisurely bathing each other before getting ready for their day. “Can you drop me off at my apartment? I need to get my books.” 

Seonghwa nodded, “We can leave a little early. Are you looking forward to graduating? It’s only a month away.” 

“Assuming I pass your class that is…” True to his word, Seonghwa hadn’t given him any favors in any of his classwork. There was only one test he… had not done well on and Seonghwa, consummate teacher that he was, had even asked him if he had any problems and encouraged him to study. He had told him the truth that it had just been because his mind had wandered to his professor during the test and he had let his cock get the better of him. Seonghwa had actually blushed, his ears going bright pink at the admission before laughing and saying that he should tell his professor to stop being so distracting. 

“I don’t think you’re in danger of failing but maybe I should fail you, then you’d have to take my class again.” 

Yeosang’s looked up, “Ah but then you’d have to teach me in summer school and you said you don’t like teaching summer classes.” 

“Hm, you have a point there. I do think there are better ways that you and I can spend this summer rather than in a classroom. Do you like the beach?” He was thinking of taking him to the island for the summer. He hadn’t been there since he met him, it just didn’t hold the same appeal for him now but he was having ideas and there was no better place to act them out. 

Yeosang shot Seonghwa a curious glance, “I do, why?” 

“I thought we might go to the beach for the summer.” 

A smile slipped over Yeosang’s lips, Seonghwa was talking about a future together. Granted, it was only the summer but it was the first time he had spoken of further than the coming weekend. It wasn’t just a future but a vacation together, “I think I’d like that.” 

“We’ll see.” Seonghwa said a little mysteriously and leaned in to capture his lover’s lips in a quick kiss. He could get used to having mornings like this. They had a quick breakfast before Seonghwa dropped Yeosang off at his apartment and he headed off to the university. 

The week went by as it usually did, their nightly video calls and school for both of them. Yeosang was dying to see his lover and was seriously starting to think about asking if he could take him up on his offer of moving in. He was getting tired of only seeing him three days a week, he wanted more but he was still cognizant of the fact that they had only been seeing each other for two months. That was probably too soon to move in together. If he only knew how Seonghwa felt about him then that would soothe so many of the little nagging questions he had. Not to mention, it was just nice to know that the person that you were in love with, loved you in return. 

By the time Friday rolled around, Yeosang was practically chomping at the bit. The moment they were in Seonghwa’s car, he reached over for his hand and Seonghwa squeezed his fingers before heading out. 

Seonghwa was nervous. He had decided that today was the day he was going to tell his lover not only that he loved him but about the island, about everything. It might have been overdue but he hadn’t been ready to share him. Now he wanted Yeosang to meet all of his friends … well, most of them. He wanted him to truly be part of his life and if the life that he had once lived didn’t fit then he would build a new one that did work for them… As a couple. Jesus had being in love felt so scary when he was younger? It was hard to remember, it seemed so long ago but for so much of his life that pain felt so fresh and it had guided everything he did. Now it was a memory and he was at long last ready to let it go and build new memories with the man by his side. 

As he pulled through the gate, he peeked over at Yeosang who was looking out the window with a little smile on his face. He wasn’t sure what he was thinking about but he loved that smile. He wanted to make sure he was always this happy. He pulled up in front of the door and turned off the car. Seonghwa just watched his lover as he reached into the backseat to get his things to take into the house. He stopped and shot a questioning gaze at Seonghwa when he made no move to get out of the car. “I have some things I would like to talk to you about.” 

“Good news I hope?” 

Seonghwa looked thoughtful, “I hope you’ll think it’s good news. But it's just some things about me that I think I should tell you. It won’t change anything between us and I’m still not planning on failing you.” 

Yeosang chuckled, “I’m glad to hear that. I would hate to have my evil professor fail me for … what would even fail me for?” 

“Oh, I don’t know... not paying attention in class? You know, you spend far too much time taunting and teasing people in class.” 

“Only you.” 

“That’s enough isn’t it?” Seonghwa laughed and reached to brush a lock of hair from Yeosang’s forehead. “I am the teacher after all.” 

“Then wouldn’t that mean it was your problem, in being teased? You’re the one who is supposed to be responsible and all. I’m just the young impressionable student who was lured in by the mystery of an older man.” 

Seonghwa looked more than a little offended, “You make it sound so illicit. I’ve told you, I don’t usually date my students.” 

“Usually?” Yeosang prodded. 

“Never.” 

“Really? Never once?” 

“Well, once and his name is Kang Yeosang. There was just something about him that drew me in and I was helpless before his charms.” 

Yeosang couldn’t help smiling at that. He was the only one. His lover had told him so before but he just liked hearing that he was in some way special to Seonghwa. He wasn’t sure what he had to talk about but he was eager to hear anything about the man. He talked about his family life and childhood a good deal. He talked about friends but he never really talked about previous relationships and for as much time as they spent talking, that seemed strange. He kind of assumed that he hadn’t really had any relationships in a long time and that was why he didn’t talk about it. He had wondered about it but while it felt as though they had been together years, they had really only been together a relatively short time and as much as he wanted to know everything about him, he was sure it would take time. For now, what they shared was enough, more than enough. Yeosang cleared his throat a little, still unable to shift the smile from his lips, “Do you want to talk here or do you want to go inside?” 

Seonghwa nodded, “Let’s go inside, have a shower, change clothes and get something to eat.” 

While Seonghwa got out of the car, Yeosang turned to get his books again. This time completing the action. When he turned to get out, the door was open and Seonghwa was holding his hand out to him. He took it as he climbed out of the car. Before he could take a step however, Seonghwa pulled him into his arms and gazed warmly down at him. “There is something I think I can tell you now though… something I want to tell you.” 

Yeosang felt his heart skip a beat. He swallowed hard, “Something you want to tell me?” 

“Yes.” 

The tenderness in his eyes, the warmth of his embrace,  _ please love me _ . The words went unsaid but they echoed in the gaze he fixed on Seonghwa. 

Seonghwa bowed his head and kissed Yeosang and he felt that kiss straight to his toes. When their lips parted, they rested their foreheads together. “Kang Yeosang, I-” 

“Well, well, well.” An unfamiliar voice intruded. 

Yeosang looked up curiously. Seonghwa on the other hand looked supremely annoyed. He closed his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh, “San.” He turned and looked over at the man who was walking up the drive. 

“You didn’t answer the bell so I thought I’d just let myself in to wait for you.” The man who was presently walking up the drive with his hands in his pockets was gorgeous, slender and lean. There was something powerful in his aura, in his presence. Like Seonghwa, it was a presence that couldn’t be ignored. 

A mischievous grin quirked his lips as he stopped a few feet away and took in the scene before him. “I’m not interrupting am I?” 

“Would you go away if I told you that you were?” Seonghwa snipped. 

Choi San laughed, “Not at all.” 

Yeosang nudged Seonghwa who radiated irritation. “Kang Yeosang, this is Choi San.” 

“I’m one of his oldest friends, I’m sure he’s mentioned me.” San approached them, for the first time he seemed to really notice Yeosang. He looked him over with a great deal of curiosity and appreciation that he didn’t even try to hide. 

“Why would I do that? I didn’t feel the need to ruin my day.” Seonghwa stepped slightly away but kept a protective arm around Yeosang’s waist. 

Yeosang was having a hard time telling whether Seonghwa didn’t like Choi San or he was just upset at having their time interrupted. Choi San claimed they were old friends and they were obviously close enough that Choi San would show up at Seonghwa’s house uninvited and expect admittance. 

“So, this is your new toy. I didn’t believe Kim Se-Ra when she told me.” Choi San said.

Yeosang felt Seonghwa stiffen beside him. He didn’t appreciate being called a toy but it felt like he was hinting at something more, “Toy?” 

“I’m sure you know you’re not the first and I’m sure you’re not the last. There have been dozens in the time I’ve known him, maybe hundreds. How far are you into your three months?” Choi San had drifted closer, he only stood a few feet away now. 

Yeosang had gone completely cold. “Three months? What do you mean?” 

“San.” There was a warning note in Seonghwa’s voice. 

San smiled brightly and happily ignored Seonghwa, “He only keeps them for three months, I wonder if he’s already got his next conquest selected and he’s just waiting for the three months to be up. What happened to the last one? She was a delight, the way she sucked cock was a revelation.”

“It’s not like that.” Seonghwa said, his voice lowered dangerously. 

Yeosang looked over at Seonghwa as if he had never seen him before. He was just a  _ toy _ ? There had been hundreds before him? Was he really just using him? Seonghwa didn’t deny anything that Choi San said. He wanted him to laugh or to argue with the man, he said that it wasn’t like that but how was it then? He felt suddenly and violently sick to his stomach. How had he let himself fall in love with this man? When he thought about it, how much did he really know about him? It wasn’t as if he ever promised him anything. He had no reason to expect one fucking thing from him but he felt his heart breaking. He forced an even and steady tone, “No, it’s like he said. It’s not like that, we’re just having fun.” 

San looked surprised at that, “Oh really? Does that mean I have a chance?” 

“San!” Seonghwa snapped. He looked over to Yeosang in shock. Only having fun? Was that true? He felt his stomach churn and his chest tighten. 

Yeosang forced a smile in San’s direction, “Who’s to say? I’m all about experiencing new things.” 

Seonghwa looked as if he had been slapped and Yeosang was happy he made him feel that way. If he was just a toy, what did it matter? With as many people as threw themselves at him, he was sure he would have him replaced by next week at the latest. He could barely breathe, he needed to get out of here before he made a spectacle of himself. “I really need to get home, I’ll leave you two to catch up.” 

“Yeosang.” Seonghwa reached out for him as he pulled away. 

“I’ll see you in class … Professor.” He was rather proud of himself, he managed to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He almost believed that he felt no hurt or rancour. 

San had the distinct feeling he missed something. Had Seonghwa really not bothered to tell his new toy about the time limit? The guy didn’t seem overly broken up about it though, so maybe it was like he said… they were just having fun. Seonghwa on the other hand was looking at him as if he would like to kill him and had determined to do it. Perhaps he should make an exit himself, “It doesn’t look like you’re in the mood for company old friend. Maybe I’ll swing by later when you’re in a better mood. Do you need a ride?” He directed the question at Yeosang.

It was on the tip of Yeosang’s tongue to turn him down but he glanced back at Seonghwa. He couldn’t quite explain the expression on the man’s face but he hoped against hope that he was hurting even 1/10th as much as Yeosang was. “Sure, if you don’t mind. I live about 20 minutes away, if that’s not too far.” 

“No that’s fine. I parked outside the gate.” Choi San fell into step beside Kang Yeosang as they headed down to his car. 

Seonghwa couldn’t move. He wanted to call after Yeosang. He wanted to run after him and force him to stay with him but he just watched the pair walking away. How could he have been so wrong? He felt something wet hit his cheek. His vision blurred but he still couldn’t look away from the spot they disappeared from view. 


End file.
